Some People Just Should Not Drink!

Okay. This one is to coincide with my fic Forbidden. Billy’s sixteenth birthday. *If you haven't read Forbidden then go do so, so you'll understand the idea behind this parody* It's the morning after, and all the guys have had too much to drink; except Billy. This is my take on The Banana Boat Song. (by Harry Belafonte)

I call it The Hangover Song


Jukes goes pounding on the corresponding doors at the tavern. Knocks on door to room Mullins is in. Cries out merrily.
Day-o, day-ay-o.

Mullins; very hungover. Rubs his head because the knocking is too loud
Daylight come and we gotta go home. *Ouch, my head*

Jukes now pounding on Mason’s corresponding door - he’s still in a good mood
Day, it’s a day, it’s a day, brand new day.

Jukes now pounding on Starkey’s door
Brand new day, brand new day-ay-ay-o.

Mason, cringing in pain. Feeling like his head is going to explode; hides under covers
Daylight come, I don’t wanta go home.

Starkey, who looks like death - and feels like it
Play all night; have too much rum.
looks around room and wonders, *How did I end up here?*

Mullins as he crawls out of bed, but wishing he would die on the floor right there.
Daylight come and I can’t go home.
*I want my mommy* as he lies down in a fetal position Billy, running down the hall pounding on all the doors
Ev’rybody up now, the morning’s come.

Starkey, who just moans into his pillow
Daylight come - can’t make it home.

Mason, after Billy knocks on his door once more, yells out
Shuddup, Jukes, or I’ll choke ya wid your bandanna.
Grabs hold of his head in extreme pain; begins to whine

Billy stands in the hallway a bit put out and yells
Daylight come and we have to go home.

Mullins, standing in the open door, leaning against frame now as he glares at Billy
How much do ya ‘preciate wearing that bandanna?

Billy’s surprised by this remark and reply sheepishly
Daylight come....we should go home.


All on on the docks now. Smee and Cookson have met up with them and they’re *trying* to help Billy get them back to the ship
*Cookson is holding up Mason*
Zee one more, two more, three more ZTEPS.

Starkey’s ghost white and looks like he’s going to be sick. Stumbles
Daylight come - I won’t make it home.
Runs off somewhere and proceeds to be sick

Hook up on deck, watching his men stagger to the ship. Shakes his head as he runs his hand down his face in disgust, yells down to his men
How did I find men so inept?

All, minus Starkey, reach the Jolly Roger and make their way on board.
Mason and Mullins, ready to fall over
Daylight come and we made it home.
*barely* both look at each other with weak smiles, but want to go down to their bunks and go to sleep; or just die

Smee, slaps both men on the back. Both look at him as though they’re going to kill him. If they could, in their condition
Day, its a day, brand new day.
Daylight come and ye made it home.

Hook, glaring at Mason and Mullins
Day, it’s a day, it’s a day, it’s a day-
Looks around and notices Starkey isn’t on board
So, where is Starkey anyway?

Starkey stumbles on board, looking worse than before, makes his way to the captain and falls to the deck in front of him.
Daylight come, ugh, I made it home.

Hook, bellows loud as the three men cringe in pain. Billy, Smee and Cookson cringe as well, but more out of surprise.
You pathetic bunch of slubberdegalleons!
Daylights come, and so you’ve made it home
I hope now you’ve all learned your lesson.

Mullins, Mason and Starkey all nod their heads in agreement. All three say
Daylight come and we’ll never leave home.
*Not to do that again anyway*

Mm-hm, let’s see what next time brings